I do yoga, I relax, I chant and I still want to smack someone!

A good friend gave me this in a card after some time in hospital:
"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens; not by what life brings us, but by what we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive events and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark, that creates extraordinary results".
She had watched and waited while others brought cards to be able to put the words in that described how I was doing. I've never been one to encourage negative thoughts. I have lived surrounded by familial depression from a young age and I think this made me try to be the other way. I have always enjoyed life and find people fascinating, if a little irritating at times! With age I have become less tolerant and as mum said yesterday sometimes a bit too honest. But this time with her had been ultimately bonding, she has told me more about my spirit and radiance than ever before. I told her she should be proud then that she made me! Egos aside I have lived with a family focused around getting a sibling better. Those who know me know their/our plight but when this happened to me I became the other ill one. Having had alot of people tell me how mental illness is just as debilitating as a physical one (teaching me to suck eggs really as i've lived with it since the age of 12) I had an odd reaction at first. Suddenly I felt worthy of the family focus and although my mum rushed to my bedside, I was then left wondering where all the others were! After a bit of a go they appeared, no mean feat I understand as they live on the rock that is Guernsey but no-one should have or need to shout their importance but I guess I've never had to so loudly. Anyway, this wasn't meant to go into detail, just to described the mixed emotions of having an physical trauma:
Angry
Upset
Disappointed
Gutted
Relieved
Stupid
Embarrassed
Pissed off
Important
High
Down
Honest
Flippant
Obvious
At times I've said things others can't say and at others I've said what people don't want to here. But I'm sure this is a side effect of being 'lucky'. This is not a word I like as you make your own luck in this world. It's actually a word my mum uses slot to describe me but then follows it with the luck is in having an outgoing personality!
When I wake up I have no idea where this blog entry will take me. Today has taken me in a direction I never knew would arise today but it's all good, "it's all gravy" as D would say. Lots of love lovely people.
It's all gravy!
Hbombot