Taking my time, or trying to...

As I ease myself cautiously back into work and doing things at a leisurely pace I still battle my need to do and pack a million things into a day. Alot of what surrounds us is so achievement based that resting and relaxation doesn't get a look in. For me this is part of my recovery and the only way I know I won't suffer any set backs. So when I work now I take regular breaks, my body is pretty much telling me it needs them. But why do our heads jump so far ahead and almost lead us to believe that if we're not achieving then we're not complete?
When I see people on Facebook saying they've done this that and the other, aren't I friggin wonderful for fitting all that in, all I want to do frankly is say bully for you. What about people who can't do all these things, you're just rubbing their faces in it. Working within sport i've always been surrounded by frustrated (injured) achievers so now I can appreciate why others harping on about it can be irritating.
I know this is my problem, I can't skip ahead so I don't. I can manage three massages now when I used to bat out ten. But then I'm enjoying the 3 I do and looking back batting them out was never a place I wanted to get to. If I could have slowed life down and freed things up I would have. I loved that lifestyle of being able to fit things in so I guess now i'm back in that place. Where I felt free of being tied and possibilities were endless. Like floating in a pool and giving in to being immersed in the water.
Last week I went to a networking event about making the best of you. I have always believed your gut instincts were the best choice to take. I had been struggling with a major work decision and it reminded me to use my instincts as if you don't feel right about something it may not be right right now. This whole experience has shaken me, my confidence and my beliefs. At times I didn't know who I was. I'm not saying I'm fully enlightened now but I'm on my way to letting go of what isn't right for me and doing the things that are. People often tell me I need to be doing what's good for me and within my capabilities. I have a very physical job and I know that needs to be built up but wondering what other stuff I could be doing sets my mind racing. Along with that and trying to relax I'm being kept entertained!
Hbombx

Returning to water...

Growing up in Guernsey one of my favourite things was water. I was dragged out of choir in primary school as I'd made it through the waiting list to attend Beau Sejour swimming club. My love for swimming grew and so did a talent which was nurtured through endless sessions up and down the pool. Nothing is quite like swimming training and it requires hours every week of pool time. I think this single focus flogged my love of water and at 18 years old that was it for me. Apart from holidays I didn't get in a pool except for holidays and the obligatory lady breaststroke!
It wasn't until my late twenties that I thought of attending a swim session. Swimming for me needed a structure and other people so I got back in with Leeds & Bradford triathlon club. It brought the fun back to something I was good at but no longer wished to race past people as fast as I could. This didn't fit when I started working evenings.
Preparing to rehab my back all I could imagine being able to do was be in water. Knowing how easy on me the supportive nature of water would be I found comfort in the pool again. My first session I was literally floating as moving from one plane to another is unexpectedly difficult. Seeing people speeding past I had to hold my ego back as the competitor wanted to show these people how fast I could really swim. My body however wouldn't let me. It's funny that when the mind is willing the body will tell you not so.
So now my love for the water returns in a newly formed respect. I am rehabbing 2/3 times a week finding my balance point and my trans abs again. Water had been a great confidence builder and now I am water jogging and tucking to get my spine mobile once more. My other favourite activity of spa/sauna'ing is now achievable and baths have taken on a whole new level of relaxation. I crave being near the sea and hope to get back to the rock I came from relatively soon. Water works and I'm glad to be back part of it!
HBombx