Speaking to a Physio friend of mine today made me appreciate how difficult it is to take an objective view of yourself. As a soft tissue therapist I should surely be able to assess myself but it really does get taken over by emotion, pain and fear. All of these things cloud our judgement leading us to an obscured view of ourselves.
So when my friend said all you have to remember is bones take 8 weeks and soft tissue up to 12 that's what I need to take forward. I keep getting told my job at the moment is to recover, I hadn't quite got my head round that til now as resting to me equals boredom. Doing something so focused on myself also feels selfish. I'm used to doing things for others, thinking of others and even my work revolves round others so focusing on me is an alien prospect.
The reason for having made no entries to this blog for weeks is my inability to cope with the world and people of late. Having almost passed through this time on a bit of a high surrounded by some kind of invincible cloak last week I crashed and burned. After spending 2 days crying at anything nice, people talking about the future and anything at all with any complexity, I have come out the other side feeling like me again. People often say your state in life is reflective in your hair colour. Well last year when I wonderfully colourful and ginger friend freakishly died I changed my hair colour more than anyone I've known. Going from blonde to bright red then pink to black to brown then red again back to blonde you'd have thought something was very wrong. A nosey outspoken colleague barked at me in the lift once "are you going through a crisis?", I should have dumbfounded her with the freakish truth that my amazing zest for life friend taken from this earth far too early had such a sod it attitude I was vicariously living my hair for him. I never really understood this at the time but I did take on a rather sod you kind of attitude, a little like straight after my time post accident.
Now that I've come back down to earth, have a conscience and feel more natural my hair has been returned to the closest it's been to its natural colour. My hair is rarely washed and managing very nicely apart from the rootage so all it needed was a wash in dye that won't have chance really to wash out. Back am I to au naturalle and it's starting to oh so slowly feel good.
Lots of love
Hbombotx
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