My final day in hospital happens to be my boyfriend / fiancée's birthday. This isn't something he enjoys happening, he would best part of ignore it if he could but it's always been a day I like to make special for him. He always says I get more excited about his birthday than him but this is mainly because I think he's some kind of wonderful. To celebrate I am coming home for him to care for me, not something I'd wish on anyone but I like to think I've practised being a good patient. I know what lies ahead is tough and our relationship, as of that with my mum when she gets here will be tested and at times strained. But what tests you makes you stronger and I think this past 2 weeks have made me realise just how strong others can be in a crisis. I have nursed Dave through many a man flu, bad backs and twisted knees. In fact we were envisaging a knee op soon with 3 months of immobility with a possible future in a bungalow. How the tables have turned! But he makes a far less emotional and worried carer than I. I couldn't be in better hands and I need to keep reminding myself of this when times are tough. Asking for help has never come naturally and as a friend reminded me last night I need to learn when to say I'm not in the mood for company, also when I am!
So just department collaboration and communication to wait for...I could be here sometime! Usually having watched others stress over going it all finishes with meds early afternoon so I have a nice little Indian selection for lunch, then home for a chippy tea with my boys!
Til next time...au revoir NHS!
Monday, 31 October 2011
Preparing for home...
Today is my last day in the hospital that for the last 2 weeks has been my home. At first i was desperate to get to my home comforts, privacy and the two boys I love most in the world - my unfazed husband to be and my dog Arthur! Every day he occupies my mind with walking him, feeding him, keeping him from escaping but my fragility at first made me pine for him whilst being fearful of how forceful he can be. Now I can't wait to see his silly face, his wagging tail beating everything in his wake and just being with him. I won't even say how much I want to be home for Dave as it'll make you sick!
Gone are the nerves of not being able to cope, these have been replaced with joy & excitement at what I have missed.
This has taught me so much about humanity, patience and how to get the most out of people (medical staff need charming too!). I will be traipsing home with a grabber for unreachable items, two loo toppers and ofcourse my trusty brace Maddie. She will help me walk again, a mere miracle in my book and a tool to help me back to life, back to reality (Soul II Soul I love you).
Gone are the nerves of not being able to cope, these have been replaced with joy & excitement at what I have missed.
This has taught me so much about humanity, patience and how to get the most out of people (medical staff need charming too!). I will be traipsing home with a grabber for unreachable items, two loo toppers and ofcourse my trusty brace Maddie. She will help me walk again, a mere miracle in my book and a tool to help me back to life, back to reality (Soul II Soul I love you).
Saturday, 29 October 2011
You're lucky not to get pneumonia and other interesting thoughts of hindsight!
As the light on my mobile lights up the hospital room I contemplate what a new nurse just complimented me on. I am used to the nice skin comment, the you're brave comment and even the gosh what haven't you broken comment. I guess the stuff you don't gear up for is the oh there's not many people with broken ribs who haven't had respiratory problems like pneumonia! Now I do actually believe you can only take in the information you're ready for at the time but jeez louise! I mean I've had health complications but they have been directly related to lying down for 2 weeks, not complications of previous injury. I think the natural reaction to being here is to get progressively better. Often that's not the case as some days your body doesn't wanna play the game you do. That's where I'm thoroughly interested in the link between the physical and mental / emotional.
Yesterday sitting having wandered the furthest I have since arrival I sat to have breakfast, something impossible to do without Maddie (the brace). To take my mind off things I text and reply to messages (something stupidly addictive but then it's hardly dangerous!) and one came through saying are the girls riding this morning? How the f*ck should I know I thought and candidly replied why are you asking me? Coz you said have a good ride and be safe! Oh yeh my bad as in my haste and laziness to make a generic message I told my PA (more of that later) to be safe on her bike. One thing that's totally understandable about being in a brace is the touchy nature and snapping honesty. Not only does it humble you to the things we all take for granted but makes you irritated by stupid things people say. I'm highly impatient with my mother and soon 10 days of her care descends but I must tell myself at this point to be patient and a good one at that. Thankfully even with clocks going back I get my meds at what would have been 6am. Bring on the new day and I can go from here!
Yesterday sitting having wandered the furthest I have since arrival I sat to have breakfast, something impossible to do without Maddie (the brace). To take my mind off things I text and reply to messages (something stupidly addictive but then it's hardly dangerous!) and one came through saying are the girls riding this morning? How the f*ck should I know I thought and candidly replied why are you asking me? Coz you said have a good ride and be safe! Oh yeh my bad as in my haste and laziness to make a generic message I told my PA (more of that later) to be safe on her bike. One thing that's totally understandable about being in a brace is the touchy nature and snapping honesty. Not only does it humble you to the things we all take for granted but makes you irritated by stupid things people say. I'm highly impatient with my mother and soon 10 days of her care descends but I must tell myself at this point to be patient and a good one at that. Thankfully even with clocks going back I get my meds at what would have been 6am. Bring on the new day and I can go from here!
On the road to recovery...via the bathroom
What better way to recall my journey so far than to start at the end of my time in hospital. Yes in three days time I am due to walk out the way I was stretchered in! For those of you reading my posts and now blog Hbombot (my Auntie Ros's name for me after seeing a pic of me in the brace I need to hold my back together and walk).
This morning after nearly 2 weeks the catheter has come out. A mixture of nerves and relief at not having to have soneone carry a piss bag round behind you or mind when being washed or wiped etc.
A goal that was talked about 6 days ago was to get to the loo unaided. It's not a long way but when you can't walk seems a million miles. This morning I got there and went unaided. For 3 minutes I was on my own for the first time since setting off on my bike. A strange mixture of independence and panic came over me that no-one was there to monitor me!
But walking back to the bed past the corridor I haven't seen down, just heard voices from I suddenly realised how far I'd come. It's all well and good hearing it from others but when you feel it and fall over it you did it.
What a bizarre contraption I'm in! But it's making me walk so who cares! Something we take so for granted is the human body - walking, moving, being...but never again, not after this!
This morning after nearly 2 weeks the catheter has come out. A mixture of nerves and relief at not having to have soneone carry a piss bag round behind you or mind when being washed or wiped etc.
A goal that was talked about 6 days ago was to get to the loo unaided. It's not a long way but when you can't walk seems a million miles. This morning I got there and went unaided. For 3 minutes I was on my own for the first time since setting off on my bike. A strange mixture of independence and panic came over me that no-one was there to monitor me!
But walking back to the bed past the corridor I haven't seen down, just heard voices from I suddenly realised how far I'd come. It's all well and good hearing it from others but when you feel it and fall over it you did it.
What a bizarre contraption I'm in! But it's making me walk so who cares! Something we take so for granted is the human body - walking, moving, being...but never again, not after this!
Friday, 28 October 2011
Falling out with Bert
Having written alot of Facebook posts about my recent mountain bike accident I Hsve concluded from feedback from others that I can articulate this experience pretty well, so here goes!
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